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Motivating Your Child When It’s Too Hard

Child is upset and unmotivated because it's too hard.  Mom is behind child wanting to speak life.

Need help motivating your child when it’s too hard? Does your child throw up their hands, stomp their feet, push away their workbook, cry, and just give up when it’s too hard?

As adults we forget that learning to make the bed can be hard.  Learning to read and multiply can be hard.  Sharing toys can be hard and learning how to get along can be messy.

We’ve been making the bed, reading, multiplying, sharing, and getting along for years, right?  Out of default, we can respond to our children by saying things like:

“It’s not hard.  You can do it.”

“Why can’t you see that…”  “Don’t you know that…”

I’ve repeated that 5 times and you’re still saying “I don’t know.”

All they while, they’re thinking, “No, actually I can’t do it.  I already tried a few times.” 

Or “It feels too big and daunting to me.” 

Or “I don’t want to do it. It looks like too much work.”

Or depending on what you are expecting of them and their age and skill level, it might be too hard for them.

So let’s talk through some tips and scripts you can use to help your children when they say, “It’s too hard.”

When your child says, “It’s too hard”:

  1. Could they be believing a lie? (minute 2:42)
  2. Tell them that “It’s too hard.  I can’t do this.” are just words. (minute 3:26)
  3. Remind them of something else that was hard but they did it, they overcame it and now they do it without thinking. (minute 4:44)
  4. Remind them that they’ll need a willingness to push through the hard stuff. (minute 5:53)
  5. Tell them that “Hard is OK.  Hard can still mean doable for you.” (minute 6:18)
  6. You can also ask “How can mommy help you?” (minute 8:43)
  7. If your child refuses your help, say, “I believe in you. I know you will get it if you don’t give up.  I’m here to help you when you need me.” (minute 9:15)
  8. Sometimes you might need to ask, “Is it that it’s too hard or is it that you don’t want to do it?” (minute 9:30)
  9. What to say when they are frustrated. (minute 9:47)

Is this a help to you, Mama? What scripts will you use to help motivate and encourage your child the next time they say, “It’s too hard.”

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