Let’s Be Friends!

Let's make a difference together by speaking words of life.

7 Things I Have Done Right in 20 Years of Marriage

blonde haired woman smiling and pointing to the text that reads:  7 Marriage Wins, Kimberly Muhtar, Renewed Mama Coaching, marriage advice, marriage coaching

Andrew and I celebrate 20 years of marriage this week!  And in honor of that, I’m sharing 7 things I have done right in 20 years of marriage.

Did you hear the 8 things I have done wrong in our 20 years of marriage?  Listen here to hear all of my mistakes.

Marriage is a wonderful gift.  I want as many years together with Andrew as the Lord will give us.  But marriage takes work and commitment.  If by sharing my mistakes and what I have done right, it helps you have a better marriage, that’s my goal!

So what are those 7 things I have done right in my marriage?  Let’s get to it.

Marriage Win #1: Be Teachable

We would not be where we are today had we not been super teachable and gotten good mentors, coaches, pastors and people to guide us and speak into our parenting, communication, marriage, and business.  We said, “Yes!” to their advice, followed directions, and committed to making changes in every area of our life. 

Mama, it doesn’t matter if you have everything in order in your life and you live in marital bliss every day. Or perhaps you are falling apart like we once were. Surround yourself with people who will mentor you, build you up, and set you back on the right path. And you need people to help you think the right thoughts and speak the right words. 

You will always get somewhere faster if you have help and coaching or mentoring. I know what it is like to be stuck. To try so hard but nothing seems to change.  I needed someone else to step in and show me what I couldn’t see because I was too much in the weeds or I just didn’t know what I didn’t know. 

If you know you need the same kind of coaching and mentoring in your parenting, your marriage, your communication, I am here for you.  Go to Renewed Mama Coaching and book your first two coaching sessions with me to get you started or go all in with my 5 session package and see change happen in your home.

By the way, there are Speak Life Badges that say, I am teachable, I am willing to learn, and I am eager to learn. They are found in the I Am Smart sticker book.

Marriage Win #2: Divorce is Not an Option

I remember a pastor we had would tell his wife, “If you’re leaving me, I’m going with you.”

Even in the hard times, when I loved Andrew but didn’t really like him, together we knew to fight for each other, not against.  We haven’t always done a good job of that because we do fight against each other.  But I love Andrew.  I am committed to him, and he is committed to me.  The Bible says in Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, give preference to one another in honor.” 

Divorce is not an option for us. Now Andrew is an honorable man and has never hurt me or the children.  If you find yourself in a situation where there is physical hurt and danger, you must get yourself and your children to safety. 

By the way, there are Speak Life Badges that say, I walk in love and I am committed. They are found in the I Am Priceless sticker book.

a couple, husband and wife, talking together at the kitchen counter

Marriage Win #3: Ask for Forgiveness

I messed up a lot in 20 years of marriage.  I told you my 8 marriage mistakes.  With all of my mistakes and judgment and criticism, I have asked Andrew for forgiveness a lot!

Forgiveness sets you free.  It humbles you to say, “I’m sorry.  I messed up and dishonored you.  All of my frustrations, I took out on you.  I thought I knew best.  Will you forgive me?” Forgiveness must be a part of your marriage and parenting.

I encourage you to listen to the episode How to Apologize to Someone You Hurt.

There is a Speak Life Badge that says I forgive. Both the I Am Special and the I Am Priceless sticker books have the I forgive badge.

Marriage Win #4: Honor and support each other’s interests, dreams, and goals

Do you support your husband in his interests, dreams, and goals? Doesn’t it feel great when someone listens, gets curious, asks questions and joins you in something that interests you?  How can you give that gift to your husband?

Marriage Win #5: Make Financial Decisions Together

Any major financial decisions we made were made by talking, praying, and agreeing.

Marriage Win #6: Take Care of Your Health

Over the years we have explored our health and nutrition, seen naturopaths, and been willing to take supplements and eat good, whole foods, lots of grass-fed proteins, and healthy oils.  That has looked different over the years based on finances, accessibility, and health goals, but I appreciate how we have prioritized this.

Did you catch all of the episodes on the Renewed Mama Podcast about renewing your health? Grab your laundry basket and fold laundry while you enjoy watching these.

Is Social Media, Hallmark, and Donuts Stealing from You, Mama?

Detox Your Home with Special Guest Elyse Rooney

Mental Wellness Begins in Your Gut with Special Guest Rachel Van den Heuvel

Win the Sugar Addiction Battle with Special Guest Rachel Murray

Support Your Adrenal Health with Special Guest Kristen Files

Rebuild Your Pelvic Floor Health with Christina Walsh

Get Moving Mama  How to Stay Faithful to Exercise with Melissa Ublansky

Love Your Body and Fuel It Well with Special Guest Jess Brown from Fuel Her Awesome

Marriage Win #7: Get Away Together

Andrew and I need a bubble bath and uninterrupted time to talk, and we’re happy!  The first time we got away without a nursing baby, I didn’t know what to do.  I could only think of the kids.  We went away for only two nights and on the second day, I could finally unwind and relax.  Then it was time to go home.  So we went away again the next month!

Prioritize getting away just the two of you.  It is so valuable for your marriage. Look at your calendar now.  When can you get away together?

While you get away or on your next date night, print off this Free “My Marriage” PDF.

FREE 5 Must-Haves for Your Marriage Guide

If you like what you’ve heard in, then don’t miss out on the FREE printable guide where I share the 5 Must-Haves for your Marriage. Ask your spouse if they are open to working through the questions inside this guide with the goal of making your marriage relationship stronger.

Sign up to download and print this FREE “5 Must-Haves for Your Marriage” guide.

image of four papers called My Marriage.  free PDF printable to have a strong marriage relationship, Renewed Mama Coaching

Please note that if you do not receive an email reply within 24 hours, check your spam or junk folder. We don’t want you to miss out on this Guide!

How Strong is Your Marriage?

You may be completely satisfied with your marriage.  You are already doing everything right. But maybe not.  Maybe you need to hear these seven things because you aren’t doing them in your marriage. 

I get you.  In July 2012, I wrote in my journal, “I have never felt so low before.  How did we get like this? So unhappy, so messed up!”    

If that’s you, your next step is to go to Renewed Mama Coaching and book your first two coaching sessions with me.  I promise you that change will happen faster if you do it with help than all on your own. 

If you want things to be different, better, happier, and whole between you and your husband, you don’t have time to waste.  Marriage isn’t easy, but it is worth fighting for.  

What’s Good